An Experiment in Commentary

The "Comments" section of a blog have lots of potential roles it can fill. I have been thinking for a few weeks now about the best thing to do here, and have decided I want "Comments" here on the Circular Ruins to have these characteristics:

• I have no problem at all with comments expressing views differing from mine
• but, I am not providing a sounding board for propagation of ignorance
  
• This blog will not be a place for obscenities
• I don't need to respond to all comments, but I would like to respond to many
• I really want to hear your views and ideas, both about the contents of the posts and about anything else on your mind
• I do not want anyone to feel embarrassed or hindered in expressing their views
  

So, I will attempt an experiment, to accomplish those points:

• All posts will have commenting enabled
• No comments will show up on the blog. I will read them, but they will not be visible to others.

I look forward to incorporating your ideas in my future posts, and to composing posts responding to differing views etc. Please let me know what you think of this, and please use it, as I value your comments.

Why "The Circular Ruins"

It's probably time to introduce myself.

Passing Shadows
In an experience not unique to me, I found myself a freshman in college, taking an exam on a short story that I hadn't read. The story was "The Circular Ruins" byJorges Borges. Trying to bluff and fake my way through the test, not having a clue what it was about, I encountered a question about the meaning of this statement in the story: "I realized I was but a passing shadow in another man's dream." (at least that's how I remember the question, my favorite translation phrases the statement slightly different).

The setting in my life at that time was such that one possible meaning immediately lept to mind with perfect clarity and real impact -- the statement was pure genius. I knew exactly what that statement meant, wrote about it, totally failed the exam, and my life was never the same since. I later read the story and found that it didn't at all mean what I thought it did, but mymis-interpretation had sparked an insight that would not leave. That statement was genius.

I have a pretty big life: complicated, involved, lots of players, lots of issues, lots of factors, big dreams, big experiences, big interactions with many people. When I looked around that exam room, I realized that every single person in there had a life every bit as big as mine. In Boston for the 4^th of July one year, I was part of over 750 thousand people in a crowd on the banks of the Charles river, and every single one of those people had a life at least as big as mine. That's a whole lotta life, a really big lot.

My life as I see it is only through my perceptions of it. And all the big pieces of my big life are of course, just the way I see them.

I had a wonderful roommate in college who was a big part of my life for years. Yet now, the river runs, and we've moved on (we still keep in touch). Looking back, that passing part of my life made an impact on me. But the real insight is the reverse: I was just a passing shadow in another man's dream. The checkout lady at the grocery store looked like a rough day, so I made her laugh. But I was just a passing shadow, in her dream.

Seeing this has changed my interactions with people fundamentally, and significantly. In ways that are very hard to express. One thing is this: I'm glad Imis-read that quote -- if I could go back, I'd fail that exam again in a heart-beat.

The Circular Ruins
I highly recommend you find a comfy quiet place where you can read slowly and think about what you're reading, and read The Circular Ruins byJorges Borges. It probably won't be life changing, but it is high quality literature. Borges writes rich stories with astounding symbolism, but it's still a fine story even if you prefer not to catch any of it.

In The Circular Ruins, the main character goes to the circular ruins and creates: A creation that comes from within, but ends taking on a life of its own, A creation born of his love, blood, sweat, and tears, and years of constant exertion. Through his creation he makes a profound discovery about himself.

This blog is one of my circular ruins. Perhaps one day I'll see someone I know.

Proposing A Celebration

Jorge Borges is a writer whom I have enjoyed for many years, and I will occasionally include in this blog a few posts about some of his gems and their influence in my life. But today I want to write about one particular cacophony (see the quote heading this blog) that I've been thinking about lately which would benefit from some clarity: the debate regarding "gay marriage." I am against it, and I'm detailing here a few concrete arguments why:

• There are people in this world who classify, by some random metric, as "kleptomaniacs." These are perfectly wonderful people, who have desires, for whatever reason, to steal without rational motivations: it's just a drive they feel and it's not their fault. We as a society continue to love these people, while not condoning this behavior. And we do wonderful things to help encourage these people to make right actions regardless of their desires. I have friends who classify themselves as homosexual, yet they chose not to act on their desires -- and as a consequence, I have tremendous respect for them. Everyone on earth struggles to resist some natural desires they have, and it is a very important part of life. I applaud all efforts to chose right in spite of our desires, by anyone and everyone, regardless of the specific personal flavor these desires may take.
• Regardless of our personal beliefs, all people (with only a few exceptions) share a belief of sorts in a notion of "loving other people." This includes me having love for my father. Just because I "love" someone does not mean that it is right to express that love in sexual ways. And me not being able to have sex with someone does not in any way restrict my ability to "love" them. If I have testicular cancer does that reduce my ability to love my wife? or my parents? or my children? No. Sex is not a pre-requisite for love, even the purest forms of it.
• "Marriage" has historically, until the last portion of a century or so, been all about seeking sanction on a union from some sort of religious figure. Why on earth would an atheist want to get married in the first place? that's hypocritical. The only gay people concerned about being married are people who believe in some sort of a God character, while simultaneously believing that this character condones sexual deviance.  Now, in the recent years of our civilizations, there have been confounding issues of various things being tied to "marriage" which are unfortunate, including the "marriage tax," insurance programs, etc.  This is unfortunate and is an issue that should be addressed without discrimination.  But that does not mean marriage should be sullied, it means we should fix this other problems other ways.
• If you want to play the civil rights card, then let's play it: marriage is not a right, it never has been; it has always been restricted by a fair variety of laws in this country and others. Civil rights have always been, and always should be, properly countered by the state insomuch as you shall not be allowed to take actions harming others or reducing their rights. The children on this planet have a right to be raised in a home that is not sullied by physical abuse, mental abuse, sexual deviancy, etc. Therefore the civil rights card actually says we should not have gay marriages, because gay marriage infringes on the rights of other people. And not having gay marriage does not reduce anyone's rights: marriage was never a right in the first place, to anyone.
  

Everyone on earth has struggles with various tendencies and desires that are best not acted upon. What's the right thing to do about the gay marriage issue? I think we should have a designated International Celebrate Self Control Day, in celebration of every individual who chooses to be more than their tendencies, whatever the flavor. Be more than your tendencies, and celebrate the strides of everyone in their personal endeavors. Everyone struggles, except those who have given up. Don't give up.

I am trying hard to not give up.